Best of Friends
by KiraLiven
Summary: "it's not really intentional, when Petunia first calls Lily a freak, but what else can she do, if she wants to keep from crying and from begging her little sister to stay, stay her sister, stay her best friend, stay where Petunia can follow, stay away from this world that will only pull them apart—that has already pulled them apart." Or Petunia and Lily used to be best friends.


**Hey! So, I promise I'm writing the next chapter to The Art of Life/Love (tbh I can never remember which one goes first, love or life?). Okay well I'm sort of working on it. Ish.**

 **Okay, I'm working on original stories, that are actually for my Personal Project in school, and I'm going to be posting them online sometime soon (not here obviously but some other site-we're gonna figure all that stuff out later, when I actually finalise my work) but this was sort of a break from everything because I really could not think of anything else to write and** **this has been nagging at the back of my head for a while.**

 **Anyway, this is more of a... character analysis, or a relationship analysis I guess, just of Petunia and Lily over the years as they go from best friends to hating each other. This was kinda hard to write, I'll be honest, there were like three or four false starts because I didn't know how to structure it or what the tone should be, but I finally figured I'd just stick to this format. It works for everyone else, doesn't it?**

 **For the sake of this fic, Petunia and Lily are about a year apart. I'm thinking 11 months, but it doesn't really matter. I just figured that they were either really far apart in age (the marrying early thing really does you in with the ages) or really close in age (Petunia doesn't seem that much older in _The Prince's Tale_ , I mean she still calls her mum mummy and still thinks she could be admitted into Hogwarts-and is immature enough to spy on Lily and Severus.). So I chose close, because it was easier to work that way-less time to be managed.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 _When somebody loved me,  
Everything was beautiful,  
Every hour spent together  
Lives within my heart._

 _...Through the summer and the fall,  
We had each other that was all  
Just she and I together  
Like it was meant to be._

 _...And I knew when she loved me._

...

Petunia is five years old. She is leaving for the first day of school, and she's nervous. She holds the straps of her backpack tightly with her hands, and smiles thinly up at her father, who will be driving her to school. Lily is there too, beaming up at her and telling her to "tell me everything that happens, don't leave anything out, I want to know _everything_ about your day, oh, I'm so excited for you, aren't you excited, Tuney, I'm so excited—but, oh, you won't find a best friend, will you, I mean, you should find friends, that's good, and fun, but don't find a _best_ one, because I'm your best friend and you said we'd be friends forever, Tuney, so don't go replacing me—" And Petunia laughs, reassuring her sister that she'll always be her best friend, "don't worry so much, Lils, I promise."

Petunia is not so nervous anymore. She might love school and she might hate it, but Lily will always be waiting there at home to listen to her stories, and be her best friend.

…

It's a year later. Petunia is leaving for school, but for once, she's not alone. Lily is ready to go beside her, bouncing on the balls of her feet in anticipation. Her red hair has been braided, by Petunia, into two cute pigtails, and her green eyes are wide with excitement. She is not nervous, like Petunia was, because she has heard all about school, and she knows that she will be perfectly all right, like Petunia was a year ago.

Petunia is also excited to go back to school; the summer holidays were long, and she wasn't able to see many of her friends, so this was the opportunity to see them and trade stories about their break. Of course, that isn't to say that her holidays were boring, or that she had no friends; school was great for meeting her classmates, but break was perfect for best friend time with Lily.

…

Petunia is seven years old. Lily is six, and she is rushing home from school, a piece of paper clutched in her hand excitedly. It is a drawing that she had made earlier that day, a bit sloppy, done with an uncoordinated hand gripping too tightly around a coloured pencil, but it's a picture of her and Tuney, and they're playing, and Lily is sure that Tuney will love it.

Petunia, with the help of their mum, hangs the drawing up on her wall, and then turns around to ask Lily what else she did that day—nothing all too important, but Lily loves to learn, so Petunia listens dutifully as Lily excitedly explains how to skip count. Petunia leaves out the fact that she already knew, choosing instead to laugh at her sister's antics and present her fingers as another ten to count on.

…

Lily just turned seven. Petunia is eight. Lily has many, many friends, much more than Petunia does, and Petunia realises this as she stands by the door, greeting all of Lily's guests. It's Lily's birthday party, and Lily's is starting to become much bigger than Petunia's was almost a year ago. Petunia is a bit worried, actually, because if Lily has all these friends, so many of them, how would she find time during the party to be with Petunia?

But she shouldn't have worried, Petunia learns, because Lily will always find time for her best friend, her sister, and Tuney will always be first on the list for Lily, so she gets to stand beside the birthday girl and help her blow out the candles.

…

It's only a few months after Lily's enormous birthday party. Petunia is sitting on Lily's bed, listening intently as Lily recounts her interesting day. "And I don't know what happened, or how it happened, but one moment the ball was going to miss, and the next it was in the goal! And everyone saw it, and they all said that it was going to miss, but it didn't, Tuney, it was—it was—it was like _magic_."

And no, Petunia is not jealous that this happened—it wasn't magic, just a coincidence, and Lily was exaggerating. And anyway, Petunia can do many things Lily can't; those are the perks of being the older sister, and so who cares if Lily is good at playing football? Petunia doesn't like getting dirty anyway.

…

It's the beginning of winter, and it's the first snowfall of the year today. Lily is crying in bed, her door having been slammed shut in her anger. Petunia, having heard the door, creeps in quietly, coming to comfort her little sister. Lily is a mess, her eyes red from crying and her hair sticking up in places, but Petunia is undeterred, and pulls her into a hug as Lily sobs. Lily tells Petunia that her friends were mean to her that day, and they weren't friends anymore, because another strange thing had happened that day, their pet hamster managed to get out of its cage and they couldn't find it, and she just so happened to be there, but they all blamed Lily for it even though she said it wasn't her fault. "I didn't even go all that _near_ the cage, Tuney, they just said it was me because I was saying that he was bored and lonely in there and should be let out now and then."

Petunia hushed her and told her calmly that she believed her, because she did; Lily wouldn't lie like that nor get upset over it, and anyway, Lily's always had strange luck. Sometimes these things weren't right, but it was Lily, and Lily was her best friend, no matter how much she didn't like these weird occurrences. So Petunia calms Lily down, as she always did, and suggests with a smile that they go out to build a snowman. Lily loves the snow.

…

It's the beginning of the summer hols. Petunia and Lily are at the park, swinging, because Lily had simply _begged_ to go to the park. And although Petunia claims herself above childish things like swinging, she is willing to do so for Lily, who is still quite young and a child. But Mummy had told her to take care of Lily, so she shrieks in horror as Lily swings herself higher and higher, launching herself into mid-air even though Mummy had told Lily specifically not to.

And so really, Petunia is only being a good sister when she scolds Lily, and she is only being a good friend when she goes to see what Lily can do, what she wants to show her, the flower petals opening and closing of their own accord, and she is only being a good sister when she insists that it isn't right; this was one of the very few times when being a good older sister and being a good best friend require different things, and sometimes it's hard, but Petunia always manages. And anyway, she is being _both_ a good sister _and_ a good friend when she tells Lily who that Snape boy is, and makes the executive decision that they are leaving.

…

It's barely a month into the holidays. Lily starts to see that Snape boy again. And no matter what Petunia told her, no matter which angle she took, Lily always wanted to see Snape. "You don't understand, Tuney, but he's helping me. He knows what I'm going through, he's helping me find out who I am." She tries to explain, but all Petunia can think of is how that stupid boy knows _nothing_ about Lily—and Petunia does, because Lily is _her_ best friend and _her_ sister and nothing was going to change that, magic or no magic, witch or not.

But maybe a part of her does know, as she watches Lily shake her head and leave her side, joining Snape's, that Lily is growing away from her. Part of her knows that maybe Lily is finding a new best friend, one who _does_ understand her, know her, can do the things she can, and not the old best friend, the one who envied Lily's abilities and tried to be a good older sister and a good best friend and listen and teach and do everything at once, and maybe nothing at all.

…

It's a year later, the summer holidays again. Petunia didn't get a letter to Hogwarts that summer, despite being the right age. Well, the right age according to that Snape boy, who Lily had spent nearly the entire year with, and Petunia had spent nearly the whole year spying—that is, she was just trying to be a good older sister and protect Lily.

But Lily gets a letter this year, at the right age, like that Snape boy said she would, like they all knew she would, and there is a woman standing there in the Evans' house explaining primly and properly to their parents about magic and the wizarding world. Petunia listens eagerly, and it's not because she wishes she were a part of it all, it's because she wants to prove that that Snape boy doesn't actually know what he's talking about—but nothing Professor McGonagall says contradicts what Petunia heard Snape say, and she is left disappointed in more ways than one.

…

It's September first. Petunia is standing on Platform 9 3/4. There is a great scarlet train there, and it's utter chaos, with some students already in their black school robes, greeting one another after a summer apart, their voices mingling with the sounds of their pets, cats mewling and owls hooting and fluttering at each other. Petunia would be rather overwhelmed—she _is_ overwhelmed—if not for the fact that she is focused solely on Lily, and her completely unwanted apologies.

"I don't—want—to—go!" Petunia is saying, struggling to get as far away from Lily as possible without their parents noticing, but Lily won't have it, won't believe her, and things are falling apart, they really are, because how could Lily go to boarding school? How could she be a part of this world that Petunia is so _not_ a part of? Why did Lily get to have all these things, be special, while Petunia is stuck back home without a best friend? And it's not really intentional, when Petunia first calls Lily a freak, but what else can she do, if she wants to keep from crying and from begging her little sister to stay, stay her sister, stay her best friend, stay where Petunia can follow, stay away from this world that will only pull them apart—that has already pulled them apart.

…

Lily is back for Christmas break. She's not allowed to perform magic outside of school, but she brings back sweets for them all and is ready to regale her family of the stories and all the things she learned, the spells and the charms and curses and all her favourite subjects. Petunia tries to combat the feeling of jealousy that wells within her, and does manage not to blow up like she had before, at the platform—she really does feel bad about that, and she apologises to Lily as soon as possible.

Really, they're both trying to make everything the way it was before, telling each other stories and being part of each other's lives again, being best friends again, and it's a bit easier without Snape being around all the time (he had stayed in Hogwarts for the break) but it's also just so much harder because all Lily can talk about is magic this, and Hogwarts that, and really, the only thing Petunia can say about everything Lily tells her is that the boys in her house and year are truly gits and not to trust them, if they're always pranking people and being immature.

…

Lily is thirteen. It's summer again, and she has homework, so she's allowed to use magic outside of school as long as she doesn't use it in front of any muggles outside of her household. But this is the first time that's allowed, so she gathers her family around and shows them, _finally_ shows them what magic really is. She's beaming at all of them, her teacup properly transfigured into a rat, and back, and looking at all their faces. Her parents look thrilled, amazed, and properly proud, and Lily's heart soars for a while, but then she sees Petunia's look of disgust.

They've tried, they really have, but over the years the gap between them has just been too much. Petunia loves her sister, she really does, but she cannot stand magic. She cannot stand that Lily goes somewhere and does things that Petunia can never do, will never do, and she cannot stand how good Lily is at magic. She cannot stand those proud looks on her parent's faces, looks she never sees directed at herself. She cannot stand how everything is always Lily, Lily, Lily, how no one else seems to think that Lily's a freak, and that's what her whole world is, freakish. And yes, maybe Petunia is deluding herself, maybe she's trying to make herself feel better, but it's been years and maybe Petunia has started properly believing herself.

…

Petunia is fifteen. She has had two boyfriends already, but none of the relationships have been particularly serious. For the summer she has a different boy, one who has already promised to take her out multiple times over break so that she can get out of the house. The rest of her holidays have been planned as outings with her friends, and Petunia is sure that this year, she can avoid her little sister coming home.

But she soon finds out that she can't, because her parents won't let her. She's not sure if it's because they see the rift between their two daughters and are trying to salvage what little relationship they have left, or if they simply want the family together, when Lily is actually home. Petunia sees it in Lily's eyes when they use that word, and she can see that home isn't really home anymore to her. She'd known it for a while, since even before Lily had asked to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas. She'd rejoiced the lack of another child in the house that year, and had been tempted to ask if Lily could stay there over summer as well, but knew her parents well enough to keep her mouth shut. So she has to stay home a bit over the summer, and listen to Lily's tentatively spoken stories, hearing about her new classes and Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher, about the Slug Club, about James Potter constantly asking her out, about how high her grades are and how good of a student she is. Petunia tries not to cry, and schools her emotions to a passive indifference.

…

It's the first day of summer holidays. Petunia is on the telephone, relishing the last few moments of her freedom before her parents come back with Lily as she returns from her fifth year at that dreadful school. But the moment is over all too soon, and Lily is back again, and Petunia steels herself for the stories, and the magic, and the agony. But it doesn't come, because Lily locks herself away in her room and doesn't come out until dinner.

And Petunia is perfectly fine with that arrangement, she really is, but she's also a good daughter and she knows what that look is, when her mum gestures between her and Lily after a tight-lipped response about school. So Petunia drags Lily into her room and tells her to spill, to talk, and Lily is a bit reluctant at first, but then the whole story is coming out and Petunia is just torn, torn between being a good sister and friend, and being the woman she has been around Lily for the past few years. But the look on Lily's face shows that she needs her right now, she needs a best friend because hers has left her, and Petunia decides that, just for today, she'll be that best friend. Lily can find a new one tomorrow.

…

Petunia is eighteen. She just graduated high school, and is going to university in the coming fall. She has a brilliant boyfriend, who she met at an internship—he's a few years older and has a steady job. She thinks that maybe this is the one. She thinks that maybe life's turning out for the better now, that maybe she can leave that house where she grew up in, where she only seems to exist as Lily's sister.

Then again, maybe she'll never step out of Lily's shadow, because yes, Petunia is of age and out of high school, and she can get her driver's licence now and drink and, as it turns out, Lily can too. Lily is also of age in the wizarding world, Petunia learns, and Lily can now legally use magic outside of school (Petunia doesn't want to think of what she had been doing before) and Lily can drink in the wizarding world and it really is such a shock when Lily appears in the hallway instead of getting picked up from the train station, because she can do that now too, it seems. Apparate and Disapparate, Lily calls is. Petunia tries not to hate her and asks her parents for a car.

…

Petunia is nineteen. She is wearing a floor-length white dress, and she is the happiest she has been in a long time. This day is about her. This day is about love. This day is her wedding to Vernon Dursley, and she knew they were going to be very happy together.

This day is not about Lily, so Petunia ignores her upset face. She ignores the fact that Lily had expected—wanted, even, to be a bridesmaid. She ignores James, too, who she recalls being one of the 'arrogant toerags' in her house—she had always known Lily would fancy him, and had tried at first to dissuade her from it. It's too late now, and anyway, Petunia is going her way, and Lily going hers. Lily had mentioned a war going on, but that has nothing to do with Petunia (or her want of marrying early—that is out of love, not fear) and she is going to live a perfectly normal life, thank you very much, without a younger sister, if possible.

…

Petunia is twenty two. It is the day after halloween. She is reading a letter, a very long letter, about a baby boy, the son of her sister, whom she had tried to forget existed and now doesn't anymore, not in this world. _Love,_ the letter wrote, _Lily's love saved Harry._ Petunia, for the first time in years, doesn't doubt this form of magic, nor hate it, because Lily has been able to love in this way since the beginning of time, and that love had been extended to her, once upon a time. She can almost hear her little sister's four-year-old voice, " _…don't go on replacing me—"_

But Petunia does not grieve. She does not grieve for her lost sister, because she had grieved for her long ago, years ago, on that platform as she watched her little sister ride away on a scarlet train. And although she has been in touch with her sister, although she knew of Lily's marriage and the birth of Harry, although she had tried to reconcile with her after their parent's deaths, she had known all along that she and Lily were never going to be close again. Never going to be best friends forever, sisters until the end. But, she supposes, looking at the baby sleeping peacefully in the crib, a lightning-shaped scar on his forehead, she can do this one favour.

For old times' sake.

* * *

 **Song at the beginning is from Toy Story 2, When She Loved Me by Sarah McLaclan or something like that. You know what I'm talking about.**

 **My tenses are shite. I usually write in past tense, so I don't know if I was able to keep up present tense-I** **really wanted it to seem like she's growing, not reminiscing the old days. But if you see any mistakes, please tell me. It'd be lovely to hear any form of CC, too, I live for that.**

 **Really, please, if you're going to review (which, by the way, I'd love it if you would review) please make it... constructive, I guess, like, if it's bad, say why it's bad, not just that you don't like it, and if you did like it, say what you liked about it. I know sometimes it's hard, trust me, I try to make good, constructive reviews all the time and can't always manage it, but it really helps us writers if you would try to be as specific as possible, talk about what makes the story good and what makes it bad-anything will do, from the characterisation and chronology of it all to my writing style-especially my writing style.**

 **Thanks! :)**


End file.
